We’ve been waiting for SBC to deliver the lines for our burstable T1 Internet connection for 2 months now. We’ve finally given up and are going with a (sit down for a moment) argh, I can hardly get it out….(deep breath) satellite Internet connection. Condolences are appreciated, please just post a comment and we will make sure the bereaved receive your words of comfort and sympathy.

And that’s not even the worst of it. Whilst we were waiting patiently for SBC to deliver the T1 line (their first appointment was on the 21st of February) we’ve been using dial up. We were having a hard enough time rising above this small (huge, enormous, gargantuan, all encompassing) inconvenience by employing the weapons of praise and, well, praise. Several of us however, nearly had heart attacks when we received our first phone bill, which included a few of the first days we had been using our dial-up Internet connection. After a quick mental calculation we estimated our next phone bill being $1000 or more. Ouch! Of course we called SBC and tried to talk some sense into them “These numbers we’re dialing up to are in the same area code as we are.” we protested, but to no avail. We spent a few days only dialing up when absolutely necessary as opposed to the ‘always-on’ (if you can call it that) connection which we had previously maintained.

We could never get a straight answer from SBC as to whether the numbers which we were dialing up on in the present, (we had switched ISPs in the beginning of February) were toll calls or not. During this period it was common to hear comments like “Zone 3 is evil” and “SBC is trying to fund the extra costs of putting in our T1 by gouging us on our phone bill.” Finally we discovered that the operator (the one you reach by dialing ’0′) was the absolute authority on whether or not a call was free or toll. With acute trepidation we gave the operator our dial up access number and asked if it was a toll call. ‘No, that is not a toll call’ came the pragmatic response. Ten minutes and 15 calls to the operator later our disbelief turned to exultant relief. Dialing up never felt so good.

SBC has changed their dates on us so many times that we have begun to wonder if they’ve abandoned our T1 contract altogether. It went from February 21st, to March 30th, and now to April 27th as the install date. Each time, the delivery date came and went, without so much as a call, the following day we would call them and they would explain that there were some technical difficulties and give us a new ‘estimated’ date.

Of course, there have been Romans 8:28′s through all this, our dial up connection has inspired witty writing, hilarious testimonies of “holy cows of ineptitude“, and the occasional snide remark from one of our sister homes “you’re still on dial up, snicker”.

Thank you for reading this saga of our dealings with (SBC)–affectionately referred to by some as the Super Bull**** Company. May God have mercy on their souls.